Growing Up
by MyBrokenButterfly
Summary: Set during time lapse. My idea on why/how M'gann changed during those five years. Slightly AU


Disclaimer: I own nothing.

/Set during time skip/

A/N: Enjoy!

…

She doesn't realize it's happening until Conner takes her out to the beach. It's just after sunset with skies painted in faded oranges and pinks that are being quickly overtaken by the pale purples and dark indigos. The ocean's waves crash against the sandy beach in a constant heartbeat rhythm. She can taste the salt in the air and lets the breeze rustle her hair as she smiles.

Conner isn't smiling. He isn't looking at her. He's staring directly into the water with a hard look overtaking his face. He looks like he's fighting a great internal battle of sorts. She's curious but can't.

"Conner..?" she calls to him, his body language screaming not to approach and she resists slipping into his mind to find out what is causing such distress. He's three feet away but it feels like a mile.

He stiffens at the sound of her voice and her brows furrow in confusion. "Conner, what's wrong?" It would take a fraction of a second to find out but he hates that and she won't do something he hates.

She takes a tentative step closer and sees he's clenching his jaw, arms folded over his chest with fisted hands tucked into his inner elbow. He's ignoring her which is weird since he called her out but he has been a little weird lately so she wants to give him space.

Part of her wants to go back in. If he's just going to get all brooding on the ocean, why should she stay? He obviously doesn't want to talk to her. But he asked her to follow him. But he's not saying anything. But. But.

Just as she turns to walk back in, he faces her. "M'gann…" he begins with a soft voice and a blank face.

"Conner?" She takes a step closer to him, reaching out with hope.

He avoids her hand and looks into her eyes. "M'gann, I can't do this anymore."

She doesn't remember the rest of the conversation. She's not even sure if she said anything. There's just so much running through her head that processing the minute details isn't worth the energy.

He apologizes with sorrow brimming in his too blue eyes and she thinks something in her is broken because it hurts to breathe.

He leaves her on the beach and she collapses in the sand, understanding she's feeling emotions and Conner just broke up with her.

She understands why they call it a 'break up' because she feels broken. It hurts to breathe and she's choking on a sob wondering why humans let themselves feel this. She understands why on Mars they don't deal with feelings. They're bothersome. Inadequate and ruthless. They _hurt. _

_She_ hurts.

M'gann curls into a ball in the sand and stays out until the moon is shining just as brightly as the sun and Zatanna comes looking for her.

By then, she has cried all the tears she can and carefully shifts her face to hide any evidence.

.

She immerses herself in training, refusing to let _Conner_ get the best of her.

Uncle J'onn helps whenever he's able but soon, she's surpassing even him and there's a look of horror in his eyes when she moving through walls and linking alien languages without a second thought when it takes him time and effort.

She used to not practice that hard with her mental capabilities because she knows they freak Conner out but she doesn't have to worry about that, now does she?

Her personality loses that naïve little girl appearance and takes on a slightly dark undertone. She wears her hair short and cropped. When people ask, she says it's easier for missions but secretly, it was the last thing she let Conner effect about her. When people break up, she learned from movies, the girl will cut her hair like she's cutting off the pain that comes with the break up and moves on.

She changes. Ever so slightly that no one notices until it's too late.

.

The team doesn't find out for nearly three weeks after the break up. Garfield is living with them at this point and M'gann cuddles him like a child which he needs after the loss of his mother so at first no one notices he distance between Conner and M'gann until the team decides on a movie night. No missions, no working, no training- nothing but junk food and a movie. Dick jokes with everyone to say it's a team building exercise- agreeing on a movie.

They all agree. Missions have been keeping them apart far too often lately and it's nice just to relax.

It's while everyone is getting settled that Zatanna and Artemis notice the rift between the two lovers. M'gann sits on the lazy-boy with Garfield curled up on her in the disguise of a green cat (he's still excited about the whole I-have-super-powers thing and can't help himself) while Conner sits on the floor in front of the couch across the room.

Artemis looks at the two from her position in Wally's arms and catches Zatanna's eye. Zatanna shrugs helplessly as the lights dim and the movie plays.

.

When confronted about it, M'gann easily says, "Conner dumped me."

The two girls looked stunned and M'gann walks past them. She's proud of herself for saying it.

But she hates herself for the ache that grabs at her heart.

She decides to train harder.

Gar comes for her three hours later, crying over a nightmare and she decides she hates emotions as she hugs him tightly.

He sobs into her chest, his whole body shaking.

Emotions ruin good people.

That's the next thing she works on. Letting go of emotions.

It's working. She doesn't care about anything else in the entire world except for Gar whom she swears she'll protect with her life.

.

When Young Justice members leave for the League, she doesn't cry. She fakes the human emotions with precision and hugs the departing members with strong arms, saying she'll miss them.

She doesn't know what missing someone feels like anymore.

Young Justice gains new members to replace the ones they lost.

La'gaan flirts with her endlessly and she decides to date him, if only to hurt Conner just a little.

She almost grins in pleasure as he avoids looking at La'gaan when they kiss.

It's satisfying.

.

Her mission is to gather information.

She picks an alien that looks high ranked and slips into his mind with ease.

He doesn't know she's there but she can feel something hidden in his subconscious.

It makes her delve deeper and further and until she knows exactly what he didn't want to think about.

She hardly notices the alien fall to the ground, drool pooling from his mouth.

She doesn't care. She got the information they needed.

And that's what she explains to Conner when he confronts her.

She's stronger than he remembers and walks away without a second glance to him.

He thinks he ruined her by leaving her.

He only meant to let her go to let her grow.

He didn't mean for this to happen.

Now he has to live with the consequences of ruining something innocent so he watches her on missions. Watches her take sanity and lives without even blinking.

He hates himself.

.

/END/


End file.
